You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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