I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
