Sacagawea was the original milf.
Hippo gnu deer
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
