fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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