doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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