I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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