I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Randomize
