he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
