I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
