I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
