Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Congratulations! We have a period
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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