Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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