i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
