I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
