her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
