No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
