some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
