I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
