I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Who died my cat blue again?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
