I think I am morally bankrupt
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
