He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
