wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
