I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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