Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
drinking out of a sandbucket again
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
