three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize
