Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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