is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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