Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
