No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
50% drunk capacity currently
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
