you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
