you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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