Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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