My boss' voice literally gives me gas
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
