someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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