No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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