Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
