You're a womanizer and a bitch.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
