I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
