At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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