you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
