Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
