like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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