dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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