I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
