he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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