fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
