You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
