I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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