My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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