That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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