But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
