So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
