I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
